Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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