Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
