The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
