Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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