Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
