No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
