New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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