come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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