you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
