just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
