they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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