I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
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I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She's the barista slut.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
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Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We're too hungover to prance.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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