I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
