how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
