carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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