she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
