with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
