we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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