i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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