haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
