I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
