i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
