I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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