Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
