Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
