I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
