I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
