Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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