just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize