some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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