the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
