i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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