She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
