Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
These tits shall not be calmed
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
