My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
