i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
