butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
