were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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