We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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