It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
