why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
