They should really pass out barf bags in church
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize