He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
