I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
how does that bad decision feel?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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