Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
