u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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