i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
