it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize