He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
