In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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