For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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