when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i drank out of a bidet.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Randomize
