Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
