I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
