So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize