Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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