Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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