No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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