I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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