i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
