I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
