Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
