why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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