he wants to bone in the snuggie
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
