Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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