I think my fart just growled at me.
Welp...herpes.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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