a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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